Crochet is not one hobby. Crochet is a sprawling personality test disguised as yarn. The stitch you gravitate toward says things about you. Deep things. Possibly concerning things. Let’s discuss.

So you want to make a blanket. Or a sweater. Or a scarf. Or a “quick” hacky sack?
Great. Love that for you. Truly.

Before you do anything reckless—like getting emotionally attached to a pattern you saw online—let’s talk about yarn planning. Because crochet does not reward optimism. Crochet rewards spreadsheets, pessimism, and the ability to stare into the void and divine the future.

Let’s get this out of the way right now: I will never crochet on demand for someone else. I do not want your color opinions, your size opinions, your creative feedback, or your “could you just change this one little thing” energy. I disagree with most people’s creative opinions, and I refuse to subject myself to them for money.

There comes a moment in every crocheter’s life when someone—usually a coworker, an in-law, or that one friend who still owes you $12—looks at your latest masterpiece and says the cursed phrase:

There’s a very specific kind of excitement that hits when you decide—out of nowhere—that today is the day you begin a new blanket.

You settle in for a cozy crochet evening…and then…where is my @#!% HOOK?

Yarn and Space…

Can’t boycott all corporations. But some make it a life quest.

Because we all know yarn weights and needle size recommendations are lying liar liars.

Into the stash I go! Last yarn across the border before the Tariff’s kicked in.