The way I design patterns is almost entirely dictated by how my brain behaves when it is F@&King EXHAUSTED. Interesting but comforting. Colorful but low-maintenance.

Authoritarian regimes always try to control culture.
Language. Clothes. Symbols. Hair. Art.

And then some woman in the corner is like:

Cool story, I’m still crocheting the pattern my grandmother taught me in 1912.

As both a crochet maker and a crochet designer, I live in a constant state of internal contradiction.

On the one hand:
I am a consumer who has absolutely rage-closed patterns that didn’t include diagrams.

On the other hand:
I am a designer who understands exactly why so many patterns don’t include them.

So when someone asks, “Should I buy this pattern?” my real answer is:
It depends on what kind of chaos you personally tolerate.

Let’s talk about it.

Crochet shouldn’t hurt. This funny, informative crochet blog post shows how to prevent hand, wrist, and neck pain caused by repetitive motion, tight tension, and cotton yarn. Stretch smarter, crochet longer, and stop injuries before they start.

Crochet has long been misunderstood.

Mostly because it doesn’t have a single, clean origin story like knitting does. Knitting has receipts. Crochet has vibes.

I find myself unable to think about much of anything except how many people I’ve known my whole life are… fine. Fine with things that are not fine. Fine with cruelty dressed up as policy. Fine with silence where outrage should live. Fine with “that’s just how it is now.”

Every January someone asks if this is the year I finally finish everything.
Organize the yarn.
Complete all the WIPs.
Become a serene, minimalist fiber goddess.

Uh…Nope…

At some point in your fiber journey, you stop buying yarn and start acquiring yarn. This is not a failure of self-control…it’s a natural progression. Like leveling up. Or accidentally unlocking a cursed inventory expansion.

No yarn is being named to its face. These are the fiber opinions we all have but pretend we don’t, for the sake of group harmony and not starting a full on brawl at the yarn store…again…

Let’s begin.

Crochet is not one hobby. Crochet is a sprawling personality test disguised as yarn. The stitch you gravitate toward says things about you. Deep things. Possibly concerning things. Let’s discuss.

So you want to make a blanket. Or a sweater. Or a scarf. Or a “quick” hacky sack?
Great. Love that for you. Truly.

Before you do anything reckless - like getting emotionally attached to a pattern you saw online - let’s talk about yarn planning. Because crochet does not reward optimism. Crochet rewards spreadsheets, pessimism, and the ability to stare into the void and divine the future.

Let’s get this out of the way right now: I will never crochet on demand for someone else. I do not want your color opinions, your size opinions, your creative feedback, or your “could you just change this one little thing” energy. I disagree with most people’s creative opinions, and I refuse to subject myself to them for money.

There comes a moment in every crocheter’s life when someone - usually a coworker, an in-law, or that one friend who still owes you $12 - looks at your latest masterpiece and says the cursed phrase:

There’s a very specific kind of excitement that hits when you decide - out of nowhere - that today is the day you begin a new blanket.

You settle in for a cozy crochet evening…and then…where is my @#!% HOOK?

Yarn and Space…

Because we all know yarn weights and needle size recommendations are lying liar liars.

Into the stash I go! Last yarn across the border before the Tariff’s kicked in.